Friday, October 30, 2009

The Angsty Artist Again

Last week I felt such a sense of accomplishment from my work with the wire, almost as if I had 'arrived' at my destination. I achieved many of my wire wrapping goals, even if I had set them unconsciously. This week, I find myself resting from the wire and waiting until my next set of goals come forth from the muse.

I'm also trying to deal with a rebellious pouty-ness on my part over how much responsibility life has. Issues about my priorities and how I want to spend my time and what I value are on the table and I would like to shove them off the table but they won't go:)

It is difficult to fit wire wrapping into a life with a full time job, home ownership, and family and social engagements. Dropping wire wrapping for me is not an option on the table. I have often been a dreamer in life who was full of wishes to play guitar or have some skill or ability but never had the desire to do the hard work of practicing. I tend to give up when things get hard.

My life would be easier if I didn't try to make time for wire, but it is important to me that I stick with something and see just how far I can go with it. I do have a mini goal of seeing 'what one year of sustained effort' will produce. That year would end in June of next year, so I at least have to get to June:)

So how do I get to June without destroying myself in my health with not eating right and not getting some exercise? I sit all day at a computer and than sit with the wire at night. How do I get to June without driving myself crazy trying to fulfill every real and perceived obligation and expectation that comes my way? I don't know yet!

One nice thing about having full time work is that I am not dependent on the wire for any income. I would like the wire to produce income one day, but for now I have the luxury of exploring the wire and doing whatever I please without worrying if it is sell-able or whether another person likes it, except when I do the occasional commission.

So at the moment I am floundering around trying to figure out the 'next thing' the muse wants to do, and while I wait for her I am trying to figure out my game plan for living. I hope my muse doesn't get too weird and make stupid or odd things. I have often judged and mistrusted her rather than embraced her. But she seems to be doing Ok so far;)

So for your viewing DISpleasure today, we have....



  1. I like this post. Everything doesn't go smoothly in life, nor does it in art -- who hasn't wondered about stories where no one ever experiences minor inconveniences like having to go to the bathroom, or frustration, or boring day jobs?

    I like it that you acknowledged that reg'lar work has its place, as does the company of other humans -- your "social obligations". As hard as some of us might wish it to, art does not exist in a vacuum. When it's trapped inside us, inspiration can even be jiggered loose simply because we spend time with other people.

    Most especially I like your photo of failed pieces and half-baked ideas struggling to take their eventual shape in your hands. Everyone experiences failure and heartache; these things shouldn't be hidden from beginners or other jewelers... until the art show!

  2. Thank you for posting JT. Your reminder of how we suspend our disbelief in the stories we tell sure made me laugh.
    I would welcome an elaboration on your second paragraph if you care to leave one. What came to my mind reading it was how many times in our history the greatest artists had patrons who provided their daily needs so that the artist was free of normal responsibility, therefore, he can create.
    Often in movies today, the great author is shown holed up in a secluded mountain cabin where he can finish his book with no intrusion from daily life.
    I myself find it near impossible to create without going away inside my head and removing myself from this world in some mental way.
    That sort of sounds like a disconnect from daily life doesn't it? Love you!