So many good things have happened to me lately. I was able to sell quite a lot of work in the last few weeks, both online and off. I was able to sell even more than I told you about in a recent blog post. I've sold at least double that much in the last week.
I also had a really good idea for a possible project to submit for Bead Dreams. The other project I began last Spring is still ongoing, it's so enormous I can't face it very often. I learn a lot when I work on it though:) I have to get something done by April if I want to try and submit for the contest. I love my new idea even more than the original project and it's a bit more doable.
All these wonderful things have happened and my response to it? Initially happiness, and than I collapsed into self pity and depression. All these ideas, this talent and hard work, I feel I can do nothing about it. It sits in front of me like a tease. I feel hopeless to solve the dilemma of my time problems and managing the different areas of my life in a balanced way.
My daughter and I have made some changes this year. We have been eating healthier food and we even both lost some weight. I've been spending regular time reading my Bible and I want to add some exercise into my weekly routine. The problem with all these wonderful things is that I have to cut back on wire time.
For the last 6 months I have known that if I want to have a healthier and more balanced approach to my life I have to let go of this creative life I want so much. Or give it a teeny tiny space in my life. When I think about this problem and how to solve it I slip into day dreams of being rich, or married and not working, or winning the lottery:) Or I slip into depression.
This morning I just realized... my needs HAVE been provided for. In my self pity, I never noticed that there is MONEY in the bank, thanks to all of my customers. I can afford to hire a service to clean my home and maintain it for at least 6 months. I can move some of this load off my shoulders finally!! Big SIGH of relief!! I can maintain my creative life and dreams. I can take another step down this road in a healthy way. This is the first time I have felt any true hope on this long standing problem.
Rejoice with me friends!!! And thanks to everyone who purchased in the last few weeks!! You've saved my life and lifted my soul!!
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A while back I told you I made a mistake on the Moroccan necklace. This is the mistake part. It was supposed to be 6 wires thick and it's only 5. Perfectly useful mistake but it was not a matching mate for that other necklace.
Congrats, Mary!!
ReplyDeleteI share your dilemma and I'm really happy for you that some of the weight has been lifted allowing you to fulfill all those parts of your life. Good for you for finding the bright side. :) I'm sure I'm not the only one whose glad you will continue to have the time to create.
Mary, This necklace is outstanding. Maybe a mistake in your planned design but it is gorgeous. The beautiful weave is set off by the gorgeous stones!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your sales and realizing you can allow yourself creative time. Creativity unleashed gives such good energy. You are such a talented spirit, I am happy you were able to see the bright side. I share your dilemma but in reverse, I have a lot of time but don't feel I have the talent...a secret fear.
I am proud of you for making the positive health changes. All you are doing will help you feel stronger, more energetic and more inner calm.
I rejoice with you!!
Tela, thank you for your comment. It's just enough insight, blessing, providence, to take one more step, but it's enough.
ReplyDeleteChristine, I share your fear. I wanted to use the words 'supposed talent'(regarding myself) but I didn't want to be overly dramatic:)
I think the reason I don't feel talented is because I scratch and claw my way up the mountain with great effort and few designs come easily and breezily to my hands. Maybe it's the same for you.
As my mother likes to remind me, genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration!!
There is a certain bravery involved in creating.
The 'Wave' necklace you made at JL is very cool with good balance and interesting colors and details. I would enjoy wearing that!!
Mary, Thank you for your words. You spoke straight to my soul. Your work is so inspiring to me. Designs do not come easily and yet when they do finally emerge, it is a great feeling.
ReplyDeleteThe affirmations I received about the "Wave" have meant so much. Thank you for saying you would enjoy wearing it. I would so enjoy wearing your Moroccan or cuff. My next "Wave" will be twined so I will email you with some questions.
Your point about bravery in creating is interesting, insightful and true. Thanks for sharing your mom's reminder... yet we Southern women don't like to sweat!
Christine,
ReplyDeleteWho feels talented when sweaty? hehe
Be fearless and brave and know that some things probably will bomb, than get up and be brave and fearless again. (and sweaty) :)
I'm happy to hear that you will email me when your ready!! :)
The necklace is just gorgeous! Time management always seems to be a huge problem for me. It's hard to find a happy medium. I love to create but taking care of yourself is important as well.
ReplyDeleteShelby, yes it is so important to have both and it's been such a struggle for so long. I'm weary of the struggle. Hopefully this notion of mine will at least give me a break for a while:)
ReplyDeleteMary,
ReplyDeleteI've had the depression and self-pity response before, too. When it happens, I try to do what you just did and wake up and notice all the things I have, which far outweigh the things I lack. The abundance mindset is always so much more productive than the scarcity one.
I hope you never give up on your creative life and that as time goes on, you get MORE time to do what you love. I'm reading a great book right now called Refuse To Choose, and while it's about juggling many interests, it has fantastic hints on how to manage time, too. It's by Barbara Sher, in case you're interested. :)
Sarah,
ReplyDeleteLoved your comment. I looked at the book on Amazon and added to my list. Sher has a great perspective!!
Thanks for sharing!